


Take My Hand Until I Get There

by HouseAu3



Series: What You Can Live With [3]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2018-07-10 23:29:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7012507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HouseAu3/pseuds/HouseAu3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The progression of Barry and Len's relationship after Len woke up from the surgery, and the reactions of the people around them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Take My Hand Until I Get There

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd because my friend is as busy as I am

It’s a beautiful thing, the arm. Translucent black lined with metallic blue, like black ice adorned with blue vines. The cold gun is hidden under intricate metal parts. A flick of the wrist and it whips out, ready for discharge.

The arm is noticeably not human.

Barry smiles. This is just like Len. So very proud. So very practical. Lose an arm and he never wallows. In his mind he pictures the possibilities and decides that this can be used to his advantage. It isn’t a weakness. He won’t allow it to be.

Barry truly admires his strength, always has, always will.

“You’ve outdone yourself this time, Cisco,” Len says. He curls his hand into a fist and then releases his fingers one by one. “Good taste, too.”

“Well, he likes me. Of course he has good taste.” Lisa grins widely at her brother, her eyes bright. “And I helped.”

“She basically designed the whole thing,” Cisco pipes up. “I only make it real.”

Lisa bumps their shoulders together. “Shut up, you, or I’m gonna ravish you right here in front of my brother.”

Cisco chokes. Len’s amused smirk only makes him even more flustered, but Cisco can’t hide his pleased smile. He’s grown very close to “the enemy” ever since that night at the hospital. Barry is in no position to judge, of course. He and Len hasn’t put a name to what they are doing, but they certainly are together in some capacity. It’s not as difficult as he thought it would be. It’s all about choices, after all, and they have chosen each other many times over the last few months.

He’s not very popular at the precinct right now, but that he can live with. He’s been through much worse.

“The cold gun was nerfed, by the way. Couldn’t have you running around with a deadly weapon, now, could we?”

Len raises an eyebrow. “Why, Cisco, I’m hurt. You don’t trust me with Scarlet?”

Cisco snorts. “I wasn’t talking about Barry and you know it. I’m not blind.”

“Careful not to grow complacent.”

“You’re so full of shit.”

Lisa laughs, delighted and carefree. Len’s eyes grows soft for a moment, and Barry’s heart  _ aches _ . Maybe it is a bad idea to care so much about his once enemies. Oliver certainly thinks it’s reckless of him to do so and has told him as much. “You’d get hurt,” Oliver said. “They’ve been criminals their whole life.” And Barry only shrugged. The words “criminal” and “bad” mean so little to him now. The Flash has murdered two people. Len has saved his life. Barry isn’t innocent, and he’s tired of lying to himself.

“How about a test run?” Barry asks. “Wouldn’t want you to lose your touch. It’d be terribly boring.”

Len reaches out with the prosthetic arm and glides his fingers along Barry’s throat. Barry shudders and leans into the cool hand. He’s rewarded with a small smile. It makes him dizzy with want.

“I can feel your pulse,” Len murmurs. “My sense of touch is working perfectly.”

Barry chuckles. “Pun intended?”

Len lets out a short laugh and brushes his thumb over Barry’s adam’s apple. Barry tilts his head to drop a kiss on Len’s palm. He still can’t look at Len’s arm without feeling guilty, but the guilt is slowly giving way to reverence.  _ A fair trade _ , Len said. A bargain, even, like Barry’s eye. And Barry’s inclined to agree - Their surviving Zoom is well worth the price.

His left eye has healed, but it wasn’t a full recovery. Everything is reduced to blurry outlines from that eye. It’s also now a shade lighter than his right one. Iris jokingly called him Bowie for an entire week. Cisco said it somehow made him look more badass. Caitlin said the color was beautiful after she’d finally stopped blaming herself. Len, ever the practical one, told him it made it easier for people to recognize him, and Cisco should modify the Flash’s suit to cover his eyes.

Len then kissed the corner of his eye, and Barry’s chest was filled with a warmth dangerously close to love.

“You’re disgustingly sweet together,” Lisa coos. “I want a muffin named after you two.”

“I don’t,” Cisco grumbles. “Imagine all the terrible jokes your brother will make.”

“Is that a challenge?” Len asks. “Now I’ll have to strongarm someone into making your dream a reality. After all, you did give me a hand when I only had one left.”

Cisco groans out loud while Lisa bursts out laughing.

*

The night after Len woke up the first time since the surgery, Barry stayed at his side. Lisa had left to deal with their rogues. Cisco had gone home to sleep after staying up for more than 48 hours. Caitlin was at STAR Lab trying to find out why his left eye wasn’t healing properly. Joe was still pissed and wasn’t speaking to him. Iris visited when Len was asleep and declared that she was going to have a talk with the man once he woke up.

Barry was kicked out of the room after the visiting hour, but he phased back in easily enough.

The chair was uncomfortable, but he managed to fall asleep. He jerked awake when something dropped onto the floor. Without thinking, he flashed to the other side of the bed to put himself between Len and the window.

“Now  _ that _ was unexpected.”

Mick Rory rose from the floor and took a step toward him. Barry cursed himself for being careless, but it couldn’t be helped. He could only hope that Rory would keep his identity a secret like Len and Lisa did.

“Rory,” Barry said. He didn’t want to call the man Heatwave. Here, in this room, he was only Barry, and the man sleeping on the bed was only Len. Heatwave was Captain Cold’s partner in crime. Len’s oldest friend was Mick Rory. “This is the sixth floor.”

“Trade secret. I’d have to kill you if I told you.” Rory walked to the bedside. “Figure Snart won’t be too happy with me if I do that.”

Barry went back to his chair, his eyes never leaving Rory. He knew Len trusted his friend, but after everything that had happened, Barry was more than a little paranoid.

“Why are you here, kid?” Rory asked. Barry pointed at the window as an answer. Rory huffed. “You ain’t stupid. Don’t pretend you don’t understand me. Why are you  _ here _ ?”

Barry sighed. He was tired of explaining why he cared about Len. He wondered if Len would be bombarded with questions about his intention as well. He wondered if Len would even bother to answer. “Because I want to. I don’t care if you like it or not. I’m not leaving.”

For a few minutes, Rory simply stared. Barry wasn’t awake enough to be unnerved by it. He took Len’s right hand and hold it in his lap. Len’s pulse was steady and strong against his fingers. Alive. He remembered pressing his lips against the side of Len’s neck. Nimble fingers carded through Barry’s hair and pulled him closer. Neither of them had said a word.

“Alright,” Rory said, breaking the silence. “Don’t tell him I know. Serve him right.”

Barry snorted. That was a roundabout promise if he’d ever heard one. “Thanks.”

Rory grumbled a “keep him safe” before jumping out of the window. Barry idly wondered what he had against doors.

*

The barrel of the cold gun kisses Barry’s temple, and Barry snorts.

It has been a while since the last time he was wary of Len. It has been even longer since the last time he was scared. Somewhere along the way he has come to trust Captain Cold to follow his own set of rules, and then he has come to trust Len. It happened without Barry quite noticing. Once betrayed trust should be harder to win, and should be given cautiously, consciously, but Barry has never been good at doubting.

Barry has the presence of mind to not voice it too easily, but his every action belies his trust in the other man, and Len notices. He always does, and pushes in response. A hand around the throat. A gun against the chin. It’s as if he’s daring Barry to flinch, as if he wants to remind Barry of their past relationship.

Barry, however, never does.

“I hate this about you,” Len says. “Your eyes, your naivety.” His gaze feels like a physical weight, intense and unwavering, but Barry has learned to find comfort in this scrutiny. There’s something about someone seeing all his strengths and weaknesses but choosing not to exploit them. A conscious decision is worth more than a blind faith in morality.

“Liar. You like my eyes.”

Len smirks. His smirk is always a little less sharp and a lot more playful when they are alone. “Aren’t we confident today?”

Barry raises an eyebrow. He’s been perfecting his sardonic look. He looks, according to Cisco, way too much like Len when he does this for anyone’s comfort. “Problems?”

A hand on the back of his neck, then lips meet lips. Barry lets himself drown in the kiss. The slow, unhurried pace is both maddening and intoxicating. He loves the way Len nibbles on his bottom lip then soothes it over with a teasing lick. He loves the way Len deepens the kiss, hot wet heat parting his lips, confident but gentle.

He knows he’s a goner, he knows.

“The opposite, I take it,” Barry says, a little out of breath. He’s rarely breathless after the explosion that gave him his speed, but Len always strives to be contrary.

“Quite.” Len smoothes a thumb over the Barry’s left cheek. “I’ll say the first test run is a success. Ready for round two?”

Barry grins. “I’ll say the first test run is only foreplay. Ready for the main event?”

Len barks out a laugh and pulls him into another kiss.

*

The first day Barry went back to work was a complete disaster. He was used to being ignored. He had been used to being stared at. This time, though, the stare was hostile, judging. He had never been popular at the precinct, first as the delusional boy who never shut up about his father’s innocence, then as the young man who was right all along, whom nobody knew how to deal with. He kept to himself most of the time, and that was fine. He loved science. He loved being recognized for something other than his speed. What drove him to forensic work, though, had always been his dad. He didn’t have much to lose now that his dad was free (and ran away, away from Barry, away from the one person who needed him the most. He wanted to be understanding, he really did, but he couldn’t. He’d worked so hard, so very hard to get his dad back, but now his dad was further away from him than when his dad was in prison.)

“Barry,” Joe called out for him, coming down from the stairs. It was the first time after Barry got Len out that Joe initiated a conversation with him. Barry was tempted to turn away like a rebellious teenager, but Joe looked worried, and Barry had never been intentionally cruel. “They aren’t - I don’t want to believe that anyone will harm you, but call me if anyone gives you trouble, alright?”

“I’ll be fine, Joe.” Barry gave him a smile. “I’ll just stay in the lab. Don’t worry too much.”

Joe sighed. He looked like he hadn’t had much sleep, and Barry felt a pang of guilt. Barry didn’t regret what he did, but he hated being a burden to the man who brought him up, who was always there for him as best he could.

“I don’t necessarily agree with what you did, Barry, but I’ll always stand by you, okay?” He put a hand on Barry’s shoulder. “You’re my son. All I ever want is for you to be happy.”

Someday, Barry wallowed in past memories and asked why the world always took people he loved away from him. Someday, Barry wondered what he had done to deserve his friends and family. He knew he hadn’t had the smoothest of childhood, but he also knew that he was fortunate to have someone taking him in, to treat him as his own.

“I know.” Barry pulled Joe into a hug. “You take care of yourself, too. Call if you need help, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Joe says. “Since when have you stopped being a boy and become a man?”

“The day Iris punched a bully for me, I think. Figure I should start pulling my own weight.”

Joe chuckled. “I was proud of her, but I couldn’t very well award her for punching a boy, could I?”

“Don’t worry.” Barry gave Joe’s shoulder a squeeze. “She knew you got her the cupcakes.”

The next few hours were uneventful. Barry did get glared at, but most people left him alone, as they always did. Barry shut himself in his lab and started working at a relatively slow speed. He still finished all his work too quickly, so he went for an early lunch.

That was when the trouble came.

The man who pushed him into an alleyway was tall and broad. Barry looked up and saw a face filled with fury and disgust. It wasn’t an expression Barry usually saw directed at himself. More often than not he was ignored, not hated. This man, who Barry had seen around the precinct, looked like he wanted to break Barry’s neck.

“Do you know what you have done?” The man asked. “Do you know what he has done? What he will do?”

Barry let out a sigh. “Do you?”

“He’s a thief, a robber, a murderer.” He crowded into Barry’s space. “He’ll continue to stole, to hurt, to kill. All because of you. He should be behind bars, or buried under ground, not free to do whatever he wants. He won’t get caught again.”

Who, Barry wondered, had the officer lost because of Len? Sometimes he did forget about the Leonard Snart he had heard about, had caught a glimpse of - a ruthless criminal, a cold-blooded thief. It seemed so far away from the Len Barry now knew - a caring brother, a hurting man, an attentive lover.

“I did what I think is right.” Barry knew it was the wrong thing to say the moment he said it - or the right one, depending on how you saw it. And as a shining example of his recklessness, he continued to say, “I crossed the line when I requested to have him transferred, and he was in danger because of me. I was trying to right what I did wrong.”

He did see the punch coming, but there wasn’t much he could do without giving his secret away - well, actually, he could make the punch look worse. Barry tilted his chin up a little and let the fist connect with the corner of his mouth. It hurt, but it was nothing compared to what he had been through before. The taste of blood was now familiar to him. He wiped at his face and let a string of blood streak down his chin. The man stepped away from him, a stricken look on his face. A shuddering breath, then he was gone.

Barry didn’t blame him, really. Hatred was a wound difficult to heal; hatred born out of love especially so. Forgiveness of others came to Barry more easily than many, but he had hated his own helplessness his whole life. He knew what it could do to people.

When he walked out of the alley, there was another man standing at the street corner. He sneered at Barry and spat, “Serve you right.” Barry only stood there and watched. An unfamiliar calmness had come to him after Len woke up from surgery and hadn’t left ever since.

“Everyone he hurts now is on you,” the man said before leaving. Barry waited until the man disappeared back into the precinct. It’d been awhile since he’d last felt so unwelcomed.

He marveled at just how unaffected he was. He wondered if this was how it felt to be sure of your decision.

His face was starting to throb. Judging from the look people have been shooting him, it didn’t look pretty. Barry grabbed a quick lunch and rushed back to the precinct. He briefly wondered if he should just head home. He’d done his share of work, and no one wanted to see him anyway. It wouldn’t solve anything, though, and Barry was tired of running away.

He walked in with split lips and a swollen face, his back straight and his head held high.

People gaped.

“Allen, what the hell happened to you?” Captain Singh asked. Barry smiled a little at the obvious concern in his voice, but winced as the smile pulled at his lips. “My office, now.”

Singh’s husband was in Singh’s office when they walked in, an ordinary man, a kind man. Barry always loved hearing Singh talk about his husband. The way the stoic captain’s eyes softened never failed to fill Barry with warmth. He envied their closeness.

“Oh god, you okay?” Rob asked. “There’s a first aid kit somewhere - ”

“I’ll get it,” Singh said. “Have a seat, Allen. Rob, can you get him a cup of water?”

“Of course.”

Barry sat down. He felt like a schoolboy being called into the principal’s office after a fight, or more accurately, after getting beat up. He’d never really fought back as Barry Allen, not enough to hurt, anyway.

“Care to explain?” Singh used a swab to clean the cut on his lip. He winced a little when Singh checked the inside of his lip for wound. Apparently there was a scrape. A piece of gauze was put between his lip and his gum. Now it really felt like elementary school all over again.

“Would you believe me if I said I walked into a wall?”

Singh snorted. “The truth, Allen.”

“It was a disagreement,” Barry said with a shrug. “I don’t think that person meant to hit me. I talked back and they lost control. Only a punch. Wasn’t that bad.”

“Wasn’t that bad?” Singh scoffed. “This is wrong, Allen. I won’t allow this kind of behavior. Disagreeing with your action is one thing. Assaulting a colleague was unacceptable.”

“Here.” Rob walked in with a cup of water. Barry nodded his thanks and sipped. “You need anything else?”

“It’s okay. Thanks.” Barry let out a deep breath. “I don’t want to cause any more troubles. The precinct can’t afford to be divided now. The city is restless.”

“Which is why we can’t have them go unpunished for what they did.”

Barry let out a low chuckle. “You already knew who it was, don’t you, captain?”

Singh didn’t answer, but Barry could hear the answer in Singh’s soft sigh. A good captain had to know his people, and Singh had never been anything but that.

“You done with your work, Allen?”

Barry nodded.

“Then you can leave early today. I have things to take care of.”

Barry gave him a small smile. “Thank you, captain.”

Singh waved him out.

*

When Len and Barry get to the restaurant, Iris and Lisa are already at the table, laughing into each other’s shoulder. Their sisters have gotten on like a house on fire after they got over their initial dislike. Iris had a fight with Joe because of this. Barry sometimes wonder if Joe blames him for turning Iris to the dark side, even though Barry didn’t really do anything other than saying “this is Len’s sister.”

Joe’s coming around, though, Barry knows. His step-dad is still waiting for the moment Len breaks Barry’s heart, and Barry resents him a little for that, but he’s at least civil with Len when they run into each other at STAR labs.

“Barry, hey,” Iris greets him with a wide smile. Barry smiles back and gives her a brief hug. “You’re only two minutes late. I’m impressed. Len’s definitely good for you.”

“And you, Lenny, aren’t freakishly on time,” Lisa says, grinning. “Definitely a good influence.”

Len hums. “Maybe I planned this.” He slid in after Barry and knocks their knees together. Barry feels the warmth spreading to his heart and settling there.

“I don’t think you can really plan  _ that _ .”

Len smirks. “I can be very persuasive.”

Iris shouts out “TMI” and collapse into helpless laughter. Lisa exchanges a look with her brother and gives him a thumbs-up. Barry shakes his head and chuckles. At times like this he always starts doubting if this really is the reality. He’s so overwhelmed with happiness that it terrifies him. He’s terrified that he’ll wake up and discover everything is only a dream. He’s terrified that one day he’ll make a mistake and lose everything. He’s terrified that things will only get worse, because it can’t possibly get any better, can it?

He keeps going higher and higher and higher still; he fears the free fall that’s bound to be ahead of him. A perfect family broken in a night. A mentor found turned out to be his worst enemy. A father saved but lost to the past. One step forward, two steps back. When will the other shoe drop?

Cold metal fingers wrap around Barry’s wrist, and Barry comes back to the real world from the edge of his paranoia.

At that moment, Barry  _ knows _ .

He listens to Iris asking about the prosthetic hand. Lisa sounds so passionate when explaining that he wonders if maybe this is another thing she missed out because of her bastard of a father. He can practically see the gears turning in Len’s head, figuring out what Lisa will want most, piecing together a plan.

The words are at the tip of his tongue. Barry doesn’t dare say them.

After dinner Lisa announces that she and Iris have plans, and they left on Lisa’s bike. Len tilts his head in question, and Barry walks toward Len’s (actually bought) car. He can feel his heart pounding in his chest. His mind is shouting  _ stupid, stupid, stupid!  _ He tries to tamp down the panic rising in his throat, but ends up laughing hysterically.

Len pulls over and turns to look at him. Barry laughs and laughs and laughs, and finally says, “I trust you.”

He doesn’t say what he really wants to say. It’s hard to be brave when his whole body is shaking with fear. Len’s become so still it’s hard to tell if he’s even breathing. Barry closes his eyes and keeps laughing.

“Barry,” Len whispers. He’s suddenly so close Barry can feel his warmth breaths. “Open your eyes.”

Barry opens his eyes. Len’s face is only inches away, a hint of smile tugging at his lips. Barry’s breath hitches when Len takes his hand and puts it on Len’s throat.

“For real?” Barry blurts out. Len laughs.

“For real.”

*

Their first date probably didn’t count as a first date for a lot of people. They didn’t go out. They didn’t plan. Len simply showed up at Barry’s apartment one night with a bottle of wine, rummaged through his cardboard, commented on the lack of fresh food at his flat, sent him out to get food, and then cooked for him.

The lasagna wasn’t anything fancy, but it was  _ real _ . It was something Len made with a practiced ease, something he probably had made for himself, for Lisa. Barry watched in fascination as Len roamed around the kitchen like he owned this space. The loss of an arm didn’t at all slow him down.

“You going to just stand by and watch?” Len asked, a teasing smile on his face. “Letting me do all the work?”

“Um.” Barry looked around the kitchen. “I know how to boil water?”

Len snorted. “Go make the table then.”

The dinner was great. The company was even better. Barry put up a movie and halfway through he was already laughing too hard to keep watching. Len looked smug about it, which only made Barry laughed harder. It’d been a very long time since he last felt this carefree.

Realizing that they had become friends was somehow more startling than the fact that they were together.

That night, Barry fell asleep on the couch, his head falling onto Len’s shoulder. When he woke up, he was lying on Len’s lap, there was a cup of coffee on the table, and Len was on his phone with Lisa. It was too easy to be true, but it was true. Barry couldn’t quite figure out how they’d come this far without him realizing it.

Their second date was cut short when the diner they were in was set on fire. Barry mouthed a “please” at Len. Len kissed him, then pushed him away with a smirk on his face. Barry rushed out to get his suit and change. When he got back, most people have evacuated from the building, the front door was sealed in a thick layer of ice, and Len was carrying a little girl in his arms. Barry rushed past him and phased into the burning building. At the center of the room was a teenaged girl screaming at him to get away from her, she couldn’t control the fire, couldn’t control herself.

Barry tried to calm her down while Cisco made his way here with a suppressor. He also tried to move her, but the heat was too much for him to handle. Then he heard the familiar sound of the cold gun discharging. He barely stopped himself from trying to take the hit for the girl.

What came out of the cold gun wasn’t a stream of cold matter, but a fog. The temperature of the whole room suddenly dropped, and the fire started to retreat back into the girl, presumably to keep her warm. Barry flashed a grateful smile at Len before slowly approaching the girl. He could hear tires screeching outside the building and footsteps getting closer. He dropped to his knees and took the girl’s burning hands in his. The fire vanished into her palms.

He kept talking to the girl while Cisco put the suppressing bracelet on her. They would help her learn better control, he promised. She had the key to the bracelet. She could take it off and put it on anytime she wanted, needed. This wasn’t a power for destruction. Her power was whatever she made of it.

When they sneaked away from the diner, both their lips were purple because of the cold, and kissing felt not unlike sucking on ice, but Barry couldn’t quite stop himself from climbing into the car on top of Len and kissed him deeply. Len threaded his fingers through Barry’s hair and pulled him closer still until there wasn’t any space left between them. Barry could feel the rise and fall of Len’s chest, feel the beating heart, the comforting heat. Len rolled his hip and Barry moaned loudly into the kiss, his hip thrusting down uncontrollably, chasing the friction.

Len met him halfway, dropping open-mouthed kiss down his neck. And Barry came in the suit like a teenager.

“Oh my god.” Barry buried his face into Len’s neck. “Cisco’s gonna kill me.”

Len bit his earlobe playfully. “I obviously have been doing something wrong if you’re still thinking about other people.” He slided his hand down Barry’s spine. “Think I can change that?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Barry would have been embarrassed by how eager he sounded if his brain hadn’t been temporarily shut down. As it was, he reveled in the chuckle he drew from Len and clambered to the front seat to start the car. “My place?”

Len gracefully slipped into the passenger seat and lay his hand on Barry’s thigh. “It’s closer.” And because he was an evil, evil man, he inched his fingers closer and closer to Barry’s crotch and said, “Do try not to crash the car.”

Barry didn’t crash the car, but it was a near thing when Len suddenly bent down and tongue him through the suit.

*

They don’t always have the time to go slow, but when they do, Len always set an excruciatingly slow pace. He has the patience and the self-control to drive Barry half-mad with lust and pleasure. Sometimes it’s downright scary how many times he can make Barry come before he does.

To be fair, though, Barry is  _ very _ sensitive.

He’s especially so tonight. He doesn’t know if it is because the confession they’ve just made earlier in the car. Every touch seems to be amplified. A lick over his nipple and a teasing hand over the head of his cock, and he’s coming all over Len’s hand.

“Interesting.” Len looks down at him with a wide grin. “How many can I get out of you tonight, I wonder?”

Barry groans. “You’re gonna kill me. With sex.”

“As far as I know I’m still a regular human being.” The smile on Len’s face can only be described as affectionate, and Barry feels his heart swell with emotions. He hooks an arm around Len’s neck to pull him down for a kiss. And Len goes obligingly, parting his lips for Barry’s tongue.

Metallic fingers slides down Barry’s ribs, teasing the inside of his thighs. He shudders, imagining the cool fingers fucking into him. Will Len be able to feel the heat? Will he be able to feel the contraction of Barry’s body trying to keep him in? His cock is quickly filling up again. Len kisses down his chest, his abs, his hips, then Len starts mouthing his inner thigh. Barry’s hip bucks uncontrollably.

All it takes is a brush of cold metal finger over his hole, and Barry comes again.

“Developing a new kink?” Len asks, his breath tickling.

Barry shoots him a glare, which probably isn’t very effective when he’s panting and shuddering with want. “You’re a kink that keeps on giving. It’s all your fault, really.”

“Is that so?” Len licks a broad stroke up Barry’s cock, drawing a whimper out of him. “I’ll have to live up to your expectation then.” Hot wet heat enveloping his cock to the root, and Barry  _ shouts _ . He’s lost all his self-control, thrusting into Len’s mouth wildly, and Len lets him. Len blowing him can normally make him come quickly enough. Len surrendering control to him? Barry has no chance lasting for more than a minute. He’s surprised he’s lasted for more than twenty seconds.

“You sure know how to stroke a man’s ego, Barry,” Len says with a hoarse voice, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Tell me stop and I’ll stop.”

Barry reaches up and smoothes his thumb over Len’s bottom lip. “Keep going.”

Len smiles. “Gladly.”

Barry loves it when Len opens him up with his tongue. Loves it when Len teases his rim until he’s oversensitive. Loves it when Len tongue-fucks him. Strong hands pull Barry’s cheeks apart, and Len plunges in, deeper and deeper until Barry can feel Len’s stubble scratching his asscheeks. It feels like all his nerve endings are on fire. He writhes and trembles and arches off the bed. This time when he comes his knees buckle and he collapses onto the bed.

“Perfect,” Len whispers, then drops a kiss on Barry’s tailbone. “Think you can go again?”

Barry hums into the pillow. “Just fuck me already.”

Len chuckles against his back. “So impatient.”

Barry loves having Len inside him. He loves the stretch, the intimacy, the feeling of being connected to someone so completely. They have done this quite a few times, but this feels new, somehow. When he lowers himself onto Len’s cock, when Len’s completely in him, it feels like a first time. The awestruck look on Len’s face makes him look so young and so vulnerable Barry can’t help but let out an embarrassing whimper.

“Fuck, I want to - I just - ” He leans down to kiss Len, his hip moving slowly, letting Len’s cock sliding almost all the way out, then pushing back in. “I - ” He pulls back a little so that Len can see his face. Slowly, deliberately, he mouths ‘ _ I love you. _ ’

The world doesn’t end. Len doesn’t run away. Barry’s heart doesn’t stop beating.

Instead, Len tightens his grip on Barry’s hip and fucks him in earnest, faster and deeper and harder. Every stroke sends a pulse of white hot pleasure through his body. Barry can’t stop himself from vibrating. A full body one that pulls a loud broken moan out of Len.

“I love you,” Barry gasps into Len’s neck. His body tenses up and he comes, painting Len’s abs with his cum. Len’s movement becomes erratic and uncoordinated, his breathing quick and shallow. He pulls Barry down into a searing kiss as his body goes taut.

For a moment, none of them say anything. Len noses at Barry’s hair and slips his fingers through Barry’s. Barry lies on top of Len with Len still in him, and there’s nowhere else in the world he’d rather be.

“I know.”

Barry blinks, staring at Len with wide eyes. Len’s smile is soft and gentle when he looks back. He drops a kiss on Barry’s hand, his chin, his cheeks, and then his left eye.

“I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> I know, I know. It's been a very long time since the last time I posted anything. I haven't updated my two WIP for months. It's just that school has been crazy busy. Technically I shouldn't be writing this either, but I missed writing and I missed these dorks.  
> This is the most explicit thing I've ever written, and I really have no idea how sex works, so I just kinda... fake it? And the whole thing might be a bit disjointed at parts, since I don't have the time to just sit down and write. You might be able to tell which part I wrote in one go.  
> Anyway, I should have more time to write after the semester ends, which is another month later. Meanwhile, I hope I'll be able to find time to write something for CFAF.  
> Wish me luck on my finals. It's nerve-wracking to have something decide your future like that.
> 
> \---
> 
> ThuyVi did a lovely [art](http://shijin.pham.nu/post/146666021071/repost-because-deleted-fanart-for-a) for this. I'm not sure how that happened but please go send her love and comments and what not.


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